Saturday, June 28, 2008

Wild Boars!

When I was in the fifth grade I met this kid named Alan on my soccer team. We were on our way to becoming the best of friends, so I went over to his house for a visit. His family lived way out in South Congaree and house was down a sandy dirt road and surrounded by woods. While I was there I commented on the remoteness of the location and asked Alan if they had any wildlife in the area. With total deadpan Alan stated that they occasionally saw some wild boars. I didn't question this, as I suspect I didn't want to seem like too much of a city slicker from Springdale.

Later that day, Alan's mom asked us to run an errand for her. She needed us to ride Alan's and his brother's bikes over to the neighbor's house to get a couple pieces of poster paper. (I have no recollection why.) Being in the boondocks, the neighbor lived the equivalent of about four blocks away....down a sandy dirt road. This was the kind of sand in which riding a bike is almost impossible. It's like riding in the deep soft beach sand at the edge of the dunes. Plus I was forced to ride Alan's little brother's bike, which was far too small for me.

Anyway, after getting the poster paper we had to try to ride home in the sand with giant paper sails in our hands. They didn't help. Suddenly a HUGE BROWN PIG wandered into the road in front of us. I didn't know that this was simply a hog owned by one of their rural neighbors, Leroy, and it had just accidentally escaped it's pen. Alan seized the opportunity, and yelled "Watch out! It's a wild boar!" I turned that bike around and pedaled like Lance Armstrong while screaming like and banshee all the way back to Alan's house in record time. When Alan eventually caught up with me he was laughing hysterically. He eventually stopped laughing enough to admitted that it wasn't a boar and then he continued laughing at me. I did not find it funny. We went inside to give the poster paper to his mom (I was apparently too scared to think of dropping it) where I was looking forward to her reprimanding Alan for his cruel joke. However, after hearing about the incident she looked sympathetically at me and then laughed too. Then I laughed and fell in love with the Greens. I've loved them ever since.


Todd said...

Honestly...what is NOT to love about the Greens?

The Nicholsons are pretty dang cool, too.

Having the two of you in my life and the memeories I have are one of my most treasured blessings.

Todd said...

In fact, one of my favorite memories is the one where we were in Gatlinburg with the AHS band. We had just arrived, checked in and I went downstairs.

The first thing I remember seeing is my underwear being thrown off the balcony of our hotel room.

The strange thing is that I was not at all angry, but honored that out of all the people in the band, you chose MY underwear to jettison onto the unsuspecting hotel guests.

It was then that I knew you guys really loved me.

The Nicholsons said...

Possibly one of the funniest stories. EVER. Well told, Unc-George - I'm laughing like I just saw it all go down on Funniest Home Videos.

Chuck said...

You guys were always nuts. Nuts I tell ya.

Ah, the great Gatlinburg AHS Band Trip. When Cindy and I went there last year she had to tell me to simply shut up about it.

Alan said...

And so the Greens set up another unsuspecting kid, by releasing Leroy's prized hog. Great story and thanks for the memory, Dook. By the way, Mom would still like that piece of poster paper replaced. The other one was pretty much destroyed.

Kyle said...

Hogs taste good.